Self-esteem

Everywhere you look, people are telling you what to do and who to be. Advertisements and magazines tell you how to become the “perfect” girl. Television shows and movies feature people whose lives always seem to go right—and if they don’t, there’s bound to be a happy ending. Even your parents, teachers, and friends can seem to want you to be someone you’re not!

It’s no surprise, then, that many girls start to feel like they can’t do anything right. They may start to think that they’re stupid or that they’re not good enough. They begin to value others’ opinions and needs over their own. In other words, they develop low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem can lead to many problems. Among other things, people with low self-esteem are more likely to:

• Use drugs or alcohol,

• Have sex before they’re ready,

• Not use protection when having sex,

• Get pregnant as a teenager,

• Do poorly in school, and

• Develop eating disorders like anorexia or bulimia.

These kinds of behaviors have serious long-term consequences, which means it’s extremely important to develop and maintain a good sense of self-esteem.

So What Is Self-esteem, and How Can I Develop It?

Self-esteem doesn’t mean thinking you’re great and being full of yourself. In fact, the people who are the most outwardly full of themselves are more likely to have low self-esteem than high. They act like they think they’re great to disguise the fact that they feel like they’re not.

What self-esteem really means is that you feel that you, as a person, have value and that you’re worthy of respect from others. It comes from within, because you have to value and respect yourself before you can feel like others should the same.

How to Make Your Self-esteem Better

There’s no one way to make your self-esteem better, but here are some things that have worked for other people:

1. Focus on your insides. Who you are is what you think and feel and do, and not what you look like.
    

2. Find something you’re good at and develop your talents. Don’t be afraid to try new things—you’ll have fun, and might surprise yourself too!
    

3. Keep positive. Everyone has bad days, and everyone messes up sometimes. Do your best to pick up the pieces and move on. It may feel like the end of the world, but most likely everyone else will have forgotten by the next day.
    

4. Take pride in your accomplishments. If someone wants to complement you on a job well done, let them! You’re entitled to pat yourself on the back, too.
    

5. Volunteer. People of all ages have found deep satisfaction in doing something useful as volunteers. There are all kinds of volunteer work out there—just look around until you find something you think you’ll like. The website www.volunteersolutions.org is a good place to start hunting.
    

6. Surround yourself with positive people. Sure, you can’t really tell your parents that they’re too negative and you can’t hang out with them anymore, but you can let them know that it helps you more when they’re positive.

Helping others, treating people with respect, and identifying and pursuing your goals will help you with a positive sense of self. Learning to feel comfortable and accepting of oneself—mind, body, and spirit—is key to good self-esteem.

Information Provided By

Women in Medicine at the UConn Health Center, a group of first, second and third year female medical students at the University of Connecticut School of Medicine.

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